Eastside Taintstains Offseason Roster

Team: Eastside Taintstains	Owner: Ben Bridgeman
2008 Payroll: 53.25	2008 Remaining: 31.75 + 1.75 bonus

	Player Name	Salary	Pos	Yrs
1	David Wright	10,000,000	3B	4
2	Jose Reyes	10,000,000	SS	3
3	Grady Sizemore	8,500,000	CF	3
4	Jimmy Rollins	7,750,000	SS	2
5	Manny Ramirez	7,000,000	LF	1
6	Scott Kazmir	4,750,000	SP	1
7	Josh Beckett	2,750,000	SP	1
8	Troy Glaus	2,500,000	3B,SS	1
AAA	Edinson Volquez		SP	R-1
AA	Adam Miller		SP	R-0
AA	Franklin Morales		SP	R-0
AA	Travis Snider		RF	R-0
AA	Eric Patterson		2B	R-0
AA	Eric Campbell		3B	R-0
AA	Michael Bowden		SP	R-0
AA	Chin Lung Hu		SS	R-0
AA	Sean Gallagher		SP	R-0

2007 Contracts - Eastside Taintstains

David Wright	$10,000,000	5 years(2011)
Jose Reyes	$10,000,000	4 years(2010)
Grady Sizemore	$8,500,000	4 years(2010)
Jimmy Rollins	$7,750,000	3 years(2009)
Manny Ramirez	$7,000,000	2 years(2008)
Scott Kazmir	$4,750,000	2 years(2008)
Josh Beckett	$2,750,000	2 years(2008)
Troy Glaus	$2,500,000	2 years(2008)

Eastside Taintstains 2007 Staff

Field Staff
Manager: Ryne Sandberg
Hitting Coach: Todd Bertuzzi
Pitching Coach: Henry Rowengartner
Bench Coach: Jack Haley
Bullpen Catcher: Tom Berringer
Ugly Coach: Andrea Barber as Kimmy Gibbler
Buffet Coach: Bruce Bruce

Management
GM: Tom from Myspace
Training Staff: The Burger King and Louie Anderson

Radio/TV
Play by Play Guy: Patton Oswalt
Colored Man: Paul Mooney
Studio Guy: Mike and Mike

Entertainment
PA Announcer: Mean Gene Oakerland
Anthem Singer: Rosanne
PR Director: Kim Etheridge (t.o.'s publicist)
Celebrity Fan: Don Rickles
Mascot: a turd
Fight Song: Tastes Like Chicken by The Vandals

Stadium Sponsor: Buffalo Wild Wings' Mudbutt Stadium at The Toilet Bowl