This Week in Hardcore - 3/27/08

Welcome to the first 2008 edition of This Week in Hardcore! We'll get you ready for the new season of Hardcore League action by rounding up the offseason moves and giving you a list of what to watch for this season. Be sure to check out our quick tour around the league as we break down each club's major free agent signings.

Last weekend wrapped up the offseason signing and trading period for the league, and what a period it was. While the spending didn't quite live up to the hype, there were a few surprises in the market and a couple of teams changed from "Pretenders" to "Contenders" overnight. There were also three trades, two of them blockbusters, to catch you up on. All this and more in This Week In Hardcore!

Trade Talk

The talk of the league was the deal between the Thunder-Guts and Uncle Teddy and the Revolution that broke just before the free agent signing period. The Thunder-Guts, looking to restock their farm system, sent All-Star catcher Russell Martin to the Revolution for Jason Saltalamaccia and the eighth pick in the upcoming draft, who turned out to be Carlos Triunfel. Other owners were shocked at the news, immediately claiming that they would have given more for Martin. The front office of the Revolution has to be happy with this one.

The other big trade this week sent Justin Verlander to Champ for Chris Duncan and $3mil in cap space. The Snake Charmers were looking to clear some cap room to make a run at some key free agents, but the price was steep, as Verlander was looking to be quite a deal for the upcoming season. The Snake Charmers were able to sign their target, but we'll see how it plays out during the season.

The third trade involved the Revolution again, this time sending Matt Garza to the James Madison Gang for Howie Kendrick. This was another salary dump, as it provided cap room to the Presidents. Kendrick is signed for the next three seasons.

Signings

Matt Holliday was the big winner of the day, cashing a $12mil deal from the Snake Charmers. He will join Alfonso Soriano and Carl Crawford in what media outlets are already calling the 30 Million Dollar Outfield. Other Viagra Falls signings of note are Ryan Zimmerman and Dustin McGowen.

The Champ Is Here opened up the checkbook for Jake Peavy to the tune of $9.25 million, making him the second highest paid free agent. Ironically, Peavy still takes a pay cut in the deal. Champ was also able to pick up outfielders Alex Rios and Eric Byrnes. Rookie Chase Headley was acquired for $1.75 million.

2 Piece and a Biscuit kept with the outfield restructuring theme, adding Carlos Beltran and Magglio Ordonez for a total of $14 million. Chone Figgins and Chipper Jones will split time at third. Rookie Steven Pearce inked a $2 million deal with the Fighting Fried Chickens.

Last year's champions, The Channel Four Newsteam, picked up Victor Martinez and BJ Upton for $6.25 million each and also brought in second baseman Robinson Cano for $4.25 million. In a speculative offer, the C4NT made Barry Bonds a token offer of $750,000 to see if he will come out of "retirement."

Brandon Webb might end up being the steal of this offseason. The Revolution were able to pick him up for a meager $7.25 million dollars. Carlos Pena was rewarded with a $5 million deal to play first for Uncle Teddy. Chris B Young was brought back after the club was able to renegotiate his contract down to $4.5 million for the '08 season.

The Taintstains snagged Fausto Carmona for $5.25 million, which could be a bargain if he can duplicate his breakout 2007 campaign. With little cap money to go around, the Taintstains' biggest offensive signing was Jeremy Hermida for $3.25 million, while adding Tim Hudson to the rotation for $2.5 million.

The Lousy Street Weasels bolstered their offense with the signings of Curtis Granderson and Carlos Guillen. The pair cost the club $10.25 million. Chein-Meng Wang was the most notable pitcher added to the staff this offseason. Rookies Geovany Soto and Jason Heyward combined for $4 million in salary, helping the club with a rebuilding effort.

The Thunder-Guts top signee, Kelvim Escobar, blew his arm out in camp and will miss the entire season. Jamie Shields, Ben Sheets, and John Maine were also added this offseason and will hopefully shore up the pitching staff. The club spent $10.75 million on the four starters, one of which will not throw an inning this year. Adrian Beltre was the top offensive signing of the offseason for the Guts. Rookie Johnny Cueto was signed for $1.25 million.

Death Ro locked up Brad Hawpe and Joe Mauer for a total of $9 million, solving a catching situation that had club brass looking trade earlier in the offseason. Rich Hill joins the club as the fourth starter and Takashi Saito will anchor the bullpen. Edgar Renteria signed a $2.75 million deal to be the team's everyday shortstop.

Brian Roberts, Corey Hart and Roy Halladay were the big signings for the James Madison Gang, each getting $4.75 million for next season. Roberts and Hart will try to help an offense that was the worst in the league last season. JJ Putz, Bobby Jenks, and Mariano Rivera form a revamped bullpen for the Gang. JR Towles was the only rookie signed to a major league contract by the Madisons.

Last Week In Hardcore - 5/14/07

Hey kids, This Week in Hardcore is sponsored by BJC Healthcare who actually made me do work last week and prevented me from getting this out in a timely manner. In order to repay them for their generosity, I will be writing two articles on their dime this week! So, the article you've all been waiting for... Last Week in Hardcore!

Perhaps the most important and exciting development for Hardcore Fans out there was that the first-place Meaty Urologists finally lost a series, to the ninth-place Drunks! Here at This (Last) Week in Hardcore, we hate to rejoice in the misery of others, but MeatU's first loss of the year is a cause for celebration. To help the cause, we're offering free beer all day yesterday at TWIH headquarters so be sure to stop by! Last week, we saw David Wright confirm that he has a pulse, which was nice for all the Eastside Taintstain fans out there. We saw a pair of pitchers, Jose Contreras and Kelvim Escobar, throw complete game shutouts and pair of Jr's lock up in an offensive battle in the Hardcore Game of the Week. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."

Hardcore Game of the Week
2 Piece Kills Death Ro, 6-3-3

A #2 vs. #3 matchup between in-laws kept this week's Game of the Week all in the family. 2 Piece and a Biscuit keeps the momentum going, not having lost a series since Week 2 and moving within 5.5 games of the league lead. The fried chicken experts' pitching has been on fire in recent weeks, going 13-7-4 the last four weeks. Death Ro's own streak was stopped this week, ending a run of four straight winning weeks and dropping to fourth place, eight games back. The problem for Death Ro may be the hitting, as they have lost two weeks in a row after carring the squad for the first month of the year.

Gary Matthews Jr must be back on the juice this week, hitting four homers and driving in eleven to lead 2 Piece & a Biscuit in both categories. Kevin Youkilis was 11-for-21 on the week with six RBI for a .524/.583 line. Chase Utley had a pair of homers to go with his six runs scored and five driven in. Matt Holliday had three bombs, driving in five. Mark Teixeira went 10-for-25 with six RBI. Roy Oswalt won both of his starts this week, striking out twelve in the process. Jose Contreras threw a complete game shutout to win his only start of the week. Adam Wainwright scattered nine hits in six innings, allowing one run in his victory. JJ Putz picked up three saves with three scoreless innnings this week. Scott Linebrink held two games.

While losing the battle of the Juniors this week, Ken Griffey Jr also led The Death Ro in homers and RBI, with three and nine respectively to go with his ten hits and a steal. Carlos Lee was 11-for-28 with a pair of homers, six runs and six RBI. Brandon Phillips and Ichiro Suzuki each had eleven hits on the week. Suzuki scored seven times and stole two bases. Phillips scored six times and homered. Daisuke Matsuzaka seemed to regain his dominating form, allowing one run over seven, striking out eight in his victory. Ted Lilly pitched fifteen innings in his two starts this week, allowing three runs, striking out ten and picking up a victory. Chris White Young allowed three runs in eleven innings, fanning nine and garnering a win. Chris Capuano led the club with eleven K's. Bobby Jenks saved a pair of games.

Beatdown of the Week
Champ Poops All Over Taintstains, 9-2-1

And the beat goes on for The Champs as they pound the Taintstains this week. The beatdown vaults The Champs into second place only 4.5 games back and the closest any team has been to first since the first week. Eastside holds steady at sixth place, but fall to 12.5 back after this series. The Champs are now the only team in the league to have not lost a series yet this year, posting a 4-0-2 series mark so far. The league's best offense has carried a rather pedestrian pitching staff, with the team going 24-12 with the bats this year. The Taintstains fall back below .500 for the first time in a month and look to stop the slide.

Somebody remind JJ Hardy that he's not any good. He continued his push for the MVP (GROSS!) this week, hitting three more bombs and driving in eight for the Champ. Rumors of Lance Berkman's demise were greatly exaggerated, as he also clubbed three homers, drove in six and scored eight. Adrian Gonzalez, Aramis Ramirez, and Jeff Kent all hit two homers apiece as the most powerful team in the league continued their power surge. Jeff Francoeur led the club with ten hits and Jorge Posada and Rafael Furcal each had nine hits. Furcal had two steals and Andruw Jones drove in nine. John Danks pitched into the seventh, allowing one run to pick up a victory. Greg Maddux went five and a third, allowing one run on three hits before departing. Francisco Cordero and Rafael Soriano each had three saves.

David Wright reminded everyone that he's still alive by going 9-for-24 at the plate with a homer and FOUR(!?!?) steals for Eastside. Raul Ibanez had nine hits, six RBI and five runs scored on the week. Manny Ramirez scored six and drove in six, adding a homer. Grady Sizemore stole three bases and Jose Reyes swiped two. Brian Roberts was 9-for-30 with a steal. Carlos Delgado had a pair of homers but was only 4-21 on the week. Tom Glavine led the staff this week, going seven innings allowing only one run to pick up the victory. Boof Bonser struck out thirteen in his two starts this week, winning one. Josh Beckett held opponents to three runs in eleven innings, fanning twelve and winning one of his two starts.

Nail-biter of the Week
Three Shots Makes It Rain on Thunder Guts, 6-5-1

Ah, the Toilet Bowl. The game that everyone else can make fun of and it's no surprise that the two cellar dwellers nearly split their series. The Thunder Guts bats took it to Three Shots, 4-1-1, but were bested by the Three Shots hurlers who went 5-1 to take the series. The win for Three Shots was their first since Week 2, once again riding the pitching to victory. They have yet to win a hitting series, going 0-5-1 with the bats so far this year. The Thunder Guts did get their first hitting win of the season but it was not enough to take the series. Their hold on last became tighter, falling 5.5 back of ninth place Three Shots.

Jason Bay led the way for the Three Shots offense this week, going 10-for-24 with five driven in, six scored, and a homer. Orlando Hudson and Alex Rios each had two homers. Travis Hafner led the club in RBI with six, followed by Mike Lowell and Corey Patterson with five. Bill Hall was 9-for-24 with a homer. Chuck James posted a 1.69/1.03 line this week in ten and two-thirds innings of work, striking out six and getting a win. Ervin Santana struck out eleven in thirteen innings of work, while Randy Johnson fanned nine in only six innings. Chad Qualls picked up two holds.

Justin Morneau continued to tear it up for the Thunder Guts, launching three bombs, driving in six and scoring six times. Felipe Lopez had two homers, scored five and drove in five, despite hitting .192 on the week. Brad Wilkerson had two homers, scored four and drove in six, despite hitting .176 on the week. Sensing a pattern yet? Derek Jeter led the team in hits with twelve and RBI with seven. Russell Martin continued his hot start, going 9-for-27 with six runs scored. Eric Byrnes had a pair of homers and five runs scored. Javier Vazquez fanned ten in thirteen innings. Francisco Rodriguez had two saves with two scoreless innings of work. Pat Neshek struck out five in just 2.2 innings.

Drunks Upset Urologists 7-5

The reign of terror is over as the Drunks have beaten the first-place Meaty Urologists! There was drunken rioting in the streets following the game, but that's pretty normal following a Too Drunk to Function series. The Drunks moved into a tie for sixth with Eastside, 12.5 back. Meanwhile, MeatU saw their lead shrink to 4.5 games, the closest the race has been since the opening week of the season. The Drunk offense handed the Urologist hitters their first loss in beatdown fashion, 5-1. On the pitching side, the Urologists' effort came up a bit short, winning 4-2. The Drunks have now won 17 games in the last two weeks to become the hottest club in the league.

The Drunks had five players hit a pair of home runs this week, Alfonso Soriano, Lyle Overbay, Eric Chavez, Magglio Ordonez, and Luke Scott. Soriano was 9-for-26 with three steals. Ordonez had six RBI and seven runs to go with his homers. Luke Scott drove in seven and stole a base. Chavez was 9-for-26 with five RBI. Carl Crawford also had nine hits, a homer, and three steals. Craig Monroe scored six runs, while Josh Barfield, Aaron Rowand, and Ramon Hernandez each scored five. Brad Penny was lights out this week, allowing one run over thirteen and a third, winning both of his starts while striking out eighteen. Braden Looper continued his solid start, throwing seven innings of three-hit shutout ball to pick up a victory. Jered Weaver allowed one run over six, striking out five. Dan Wheeler picked up three saves despite a 9.00 ERA for the week.

Julio Lugo led the Meaty Urologists at the plate this week with twelve hits while driving in seven and stealing two bags. Pat Burrell hit a pair of homers, drove in five and scored five times. Torii Hunter also had a pair of bombs while driving in eight. Juan Pierre was 10-for-31 with three steals and Johnny Damon had nine hits, five runs and a pair of steals. David Ortiz scored six runs and drove in seven. AJ Burnett pitched into the seventh allowing just one run and striking out ten to earn the victory. Erik Bedard turned in seven innings of shutout ball, fanning ten in his start this week. Tom Gorzelanny allowed one run in seven innings of work. Billy Wagner saved three games in three perfect innings of work this week. Takashi Saito closed out two games while Jonathon Broxton picked up two holds.

Uncle Teddy Filibusters Guitar Face, 6-5-1

A late charge led the Azzkickers to top Guitar Face for their first series win since opening week. The narrow victory was led by the offense, who posted a 5-1 victory. The pitching was just enough to hold on, as Guitar Face hurlers prevailed 4-1-1. Both teams hold their place in the standings at fifth and eighth respectively.

Chris Black Young led the Azzkickers with a 12-for-23 performance this week, adding two homers, a steal and five runs scored. Prince Fielder also hit two homers and drove in five. Hanley Ramirez had eight hits and two steals, while Brian Giles had ten hits. Ryan Zimmerman appears to be coming around, as he had a homer and six RBI this week. Nick "The Stick" Markakis scored five runs and had a homer. Michael Cuddyer hit a three run homer late sunday night to clinch the victory for The Azzkickers, changing RBIs from a loss to a win. Randy Wolf threw a four-hit shutout for seven innings, striking out eleven in the victory. Andy Pettitte allowed just three runs in fourteen and a third innings this week, striking out six and picking up a victory. Tim Lincecum won his first major league game, allowing two runs in seven innings, striking out six. Brian Fuentes picked up two saves on the week.

For a team that hits .224 on the week, there aren't going to be many stars. Adam Dunn led Guitar Face in everything but steals going 8-for-21 with three homers, six RBI and seven runs scored. Todd Helton had eight hits and two homers. Jake Peavy and Brendan Webb earned their money this week, with Peavy striking out ten in seven scoreless innings and Webb allowing one run and striking out ten in his complete game. Both pitchers picked up wins for their efforts. Kelvim Escobar bested both of them, however, twirling a complete game shutout with nine strikeouts. Ian Snell got back on the right foot this week, allowing four runs in fourteen innings, striking out twelve and getting a win. Casey Janssen had two holds.

Three Stars - Hitters

#1 - Gary Matthews Jr, 2 Piece & a Biscuit
Matthews exploded for four homers and eleven RBI this week, twice the number of homers he's had all year and matching his RBI total for the first five weeks.

#2 - Ken Griffey Jr, The Death Ro
Griffey did his damage in a loss, belting three homers, driving in nine, and going 10-for-25 at the plate this week.

#3 - Lance Berkman, The Champ is Here
Berkman broke out of his season long power slump in a big way this week, hitting three homers, scoring eight times, driving in six, and collecting eight hits.

Three Stars - Pitchers

#1 - Brad Penny, Too Drunk To Function
One earned over two starts, each start resulting in a win puts you in the three stars. Strike out eighteen in thirteen innings and you take home the gold.

#2 - Kelvim Escobar, Guitar Face
Escobar fired a complete game shutout with seven hits and no walks to take the silver.

#3 - Jose Contreras, 2 Piece & a Biscuit
The other complete game shutout of the week, Contreras allowed five hits and a walk while striking out four.

Next Week in Hardcore

Be sure to read Shaun's preview below of "Next Week in Hardcore"

This Week In Hardcore - 5/6/07

The word for the week is "Beatdown". Ready everybody? "Beatdown." Good job kids. There were two shalackings handed out this week, one from the formerly last place Too Drunk to Function and one from Guitar Face. The first place Meaty Urologists won another series (BORING!) but we have a new second place club this week. We saw new league records set for batting average, on-base, saves, and overall record this week. We've got rookies pitching like aces and aces getting bombed. Three new stars on offense this week and a pitching star appearing for the second straight week. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."

Hardcore Game of the Week
Taintstains vs. Death Ro

Death Ro pitching overcomes a 4-2 loss in hitting to win the series 7-5. Death Ro set a league mark for batting average, hitting .330 on the week. Despite their own record-breaking performance, the Taintstains .321 average was not enough. The Death Ro bullpen also set the league record for saves with eight. The victory vaults The Death Ro into second place, 7.5 back of the Urologists. After losing their first series of the year to the Thunder Guts, Death Ro has now run off four straight series wins, going 29-17-2 in that span. The loss drops the Taintstains down one place to sixth, only 2.5 back of second place.

The Death Ro got contributions up and down the lineup this week in their victory over the Taintstains this week. Derrick Lee continued to lead the universe in hitting, going 12-for-24 this week with five RBIs. Josh Hamilton got his stroke back, hitting two jacks, scoring seven times, swiping a base and collecting nine hits. Carlos Lee had an eleven hit week and drove in seven. Kenny Lofton had a pair of homers and a pair of steals. BJ Upton continued hitting, going 9-for-23 this week. Chris White Young threw eight shutout innings, picking up a win and eight K's in his start this week. Curt Schilling fanned fourteen in his two starts, winning one. The ageless Todd Jones saved four games this week while his understudy Bobby Jenks picked up two. Scot Shields had a pair of holds.

Lots of monster weeks for the Taintstain offense this time around. Troy Glaus led the way with a 10-for-25 week with four homers, seven driven in and eight runs scored. Jose Reyes, Jimmy Rollins, and Randy Winn had twelve hits apiece to lead the club. Reyes added three steals while Rollins had two steals, six runs and five RBI. Winn scored eight times on the week and Trot Nixon led the club in RBI with eight. Brian Roberts' four steals were tops on the team. David Wright and Manny Ramirez each had two homers. Scott Kazmir and Boof Bonzer each allowed one run over six innings, with Kazmir striking out eight. Josh Beckett fanned seven in his victory. Rich Hill went seven innings allowing two runs. Fernando Rodney picked up two holds.

Beatdown of the Week
Thunder Guts vs. Guitar Face

It's a sad day in Thunder Guts nation, as the team completed it's free fall to the basement this week. A league record 11-1 rout was handed out by Guitar Face this week, taking them from eighth place to fifth and only two games out of second. After opening the season with an 8-4 victory, the Thunder Guts have gone 10-37-1 in the last four series and have received the Beatdown of the Week three times. Trade rumors have been surrounding first baseman Albert Pujols after his slow start. Summing up his team's performance so far this season, Thunder Guts owner Jah Slowness was quoted as saying "I hate baseball."

The Flyin' Hawaiian Shane Victorino stole a ridiculous seven bases this week and went 11-for-23 with a homer at the plate while scoring eight runs. Adam Dunn had a pair of homers and rolled sixes in Runs and RBI. Vlad Guerrero had a pair of homers and nine RBI on nine hits this week. Jhonny Peralta also had two jacks with eight RBI and six runs. Aaron Hill had two of his four hits this week go over the fence. Todd Helton continued his hot hitting with a nine hit week, six runs, seven RBI and a homer. Jake Peavy blew away twenty hitters in his fourteen innings of work. He had a 1.93/0.79 line and a victory in two starts. Kelvim Escobar continued his strong return from injury with seven innings of one run ball to pick up the victory. Midweek pickup Ryan Dempster contributed two saves backing up Huston Street's three.

Derek Jeter and Troy Tulowitzki led the Thunder Guts offense with ten hits each. Jeter drove in five while Tulowitzki scored five. Omar Vizquel and Eric Byrnes both had 9-for-25 weeks with two steals. Ray Durham and Felipe Lopez both had two steals as well. Ty Wiggington had the only two-homer week for the Guts, and Brad Hawpe tied for the team lead in RBI with six. Johan Santana returned to old form this week, allowing one run and striking out five in his five inning victory. Scott Olsen went twelve innings in his two starts, allowing three runs and striking out nine. Aaron Harang fanned eight in five innings but got cuffed around a bit in his loss. The Brett Myers Closer Experiment seems to be going swimmingly, as he recorded the first two saves of his career without allowing a hit. Francisco Rodriguez also notched two saves and Pat Neshek picked up a pair of holds for the club's only win this week.

Nail-biter of the Week
Champ Is Here vs. 2 Piece & a Biscuit

These two clubs, battling near the top of the standings, played to a 6-6 draw this week. The Champ won hitting 4-2 and 2 Piece returned the favor, winning pitching 4-2. 2 Piece dominated the pitching categories but couldn't get any help from the bullpen, losing both relief categories. The Champ has yet to lose a series, going 4-0-2 so far. Champ led the league in homers and RBI this week and set a league record for on-base with a .411 mark. 2 Piece led the league in ERA and WHIP. The Champ held steady at fourth place, nine games out while 2 Piece dropped a spot to third, one game ahead of Champ.

JJ Hardy had fifteen hits in twenty-eight trips for the Champ this week. Throw in two homers, nine RBI and eight Runs and that's huge. Victor Martinez had ten hits, six runs, six RBI, and a homer. Gary Sheffield had a pair of homers to match his two steals in only three games this week. Chipper Jones had three bombs, six runs and six RBI. Barry Bonds drove in five, scored seven and had two jacks. Mike Mussina gave up a run on four hits in his start this week to pick up the club's only pitching victory. Barry Zito allowed two runs over seven, striking out four. Francisco Cordero and Mariano Rivera each had two saves.

Mark Teixeira led Three Shots with nine hits, also adding two homers, six RBI, and five runs scored. Matt Holliday led the team in RBI with eight and runs with six, adding a pair of homers to boot. Chase Utley drove in six while Ryan Freel swiped two bases. Melvin Mora and Dan Uggla each scored five runs. Carlos Beltran added two bombs. Paul LoDuca hit .421/.476 and Carlos Guillen hit .462/.632, both in limited action this week. Three Shots pitching was amazing this week, with five starters allowing one run or less. Phillip Hughes had a no-hitter going into the seventh before leaving the game with a hamstring injury. John Smoltz threw seven shutout innings, striking out six in his victory. Roy Oswalt pitched eight innings, allowing one run and five baserunners to pick up the win. John Maine and Jose Contreras each allowed one run over six innings, with Maine running his record to 5-0. Jonathan Papelbon saved two games on the week.

Three Shots vs. Too Drunk to Function

Too Drunk is in last place no more after dispatching Three Shots with a 10-1-1 whooping this week. The Drunks had a balanced attack this week, winning five hitting and five pitching categories. Drunk pitching led the league with 70 strikeouts and 7 wins this week. The series win was the first this season for the Drunks but was enough to climb three spots to seventh. Three Shots falls two spots to ninth.

Two Drunks broke out of their early season hangovers this week to lead the offense. Alfonzo Soriano was 12-for-30 with two homers and six runs scored on the week, while Michael Young had two homers, six runs, and six RBI to go with his nine hits. Craig Monroe had a big week, hitting three homers, driving in ten and scoring seven. Luke Scott drove in five runs while Aaron Roward scored five times. Luis Castillo hit .467/.500 in limited duty. CC Sabathia won both of his starts this week, striking out eighteen in thirteen innings of work. John Lackey fanned fifteen in fourteen innings, winning one of his two starts on the week. Brad Penny fired six scoreless innings and Chien-Ming Wang picked up the victory with eight innings of one-run ball. Jason Isringhausen and Dan Wheeler each notched two saves.

Not alot of bright spots for Three Shots this week, as the team hit .213 on the week. Orlando Hudson was 9-for-26 with two homers, a pair of steals and five driven in. Bill Hall scored five runs on seven hits. Jim Edmonds and Scott Rolen went a combined 1-for-36 on the week, sealing the club's offensive fate. Dan Haren had a nice start, striking out nine in seven innings of work, allowing two runs. Tim Hudson allowed five runs in sixteen innings this week, for a 2.81/0.75 line. Daniel Cabrera picked up a win in two starts to go with his eleven K's. Everyone else who touched the ball for Three Shots pretty much got bombed this week, combining for a 6.61 ERA.

Azzkickers vs. Meaty Urologists

The Meaty Urologists expand their lead to 7.5 games with their 8-3-1 win over the Azzkickers. This was a battle of the anemic offenses, as the batting average score was .252 to .248. The Urologist pitchers really stepped up this week, posting a 5-0-1 mark. With their fifth series win, the Urologists run their undefeated series mark to 5-0-1 to keep ahead of The Champ for the best series record. The Azzkickers have fallen on hard times recently, losing their last four series. They now sit in eighth place, down two spots from last week.

Torii Hunter continued his hot start for the Meaty Urologists, going 10-for-24 with a homer and a team-leading three steals. Miguel Tejada had a nine hit week for a .375/.407 line. Ryan Howard led the team in homers with two and RBI with seven, despite going 3-for-22 on the week. Curtis Granderson stole a pair of bases and homered. Pat Burrell was walk-tacular this week, producing the head-scratching .111/.429 line. Bronson Arroyo led the pitching staff, grabbing two victories and allowing four runs over twelve innings, striking out twelve. Cole Hamels also picked up a pair of wins this week, striking out fifteen. AJ Burnett was both unhittable and very hittable this week, striking out sixteen in twelve innings while allowing ten runs for a 7.11/1.58 line. Hideki Okajima had three holds and Jonathon Broxton had a pair. Takashi Saito and Billy Wagner each had two saves.

Prince Fielder was the king of the Azzkickers this week, launching four bombs, driving in twelve, scoring eight times, and collecting eleven hits in twenty-five tries, leading the team in all categories. Hanley Ramirez had eight hits, including a homer, two steals and five runs scored. Rickie Weeks scored seven runs and also stole a pair of bases. Chris Black Young had two homers and a steal, though he only hit .179/.233. Mark Teahan was 9-for-27 with two steals. Ben Sheets was solid this week, allowing four runs in twelve innings, winning one of his two starts. The usually reliable Roy Halliday got hammered this week, allowing ten runs in fourteen innings, though he did strike out eleven and somehow managed to pick up a victory. Randy Wolf fanned thirteen to lead the club, though his 5.73/2.00 line on the week didn't help matters. Joe Borowski had two saves.

Three Stars - Hitters

#1 - Prince Fielder, Azzkickers
The Prince played like royalty this week, leading the league in RBI with twelve, tying for the lead in homers with four and runs with eight. He went 11-for-25 for a .440/.533 line to take the gold.

#2 - Troy Glaus, Taintstains
A 10-for-25 week from Glaus was capped by four homers, seven RBI and eight runs scored. He hit .400/.483 for the week.

#3 - JJ Hardy, Champ
An MVP candidate according to Shaun Kennedy, JJ Hardy had fifteen hits this week in twenty-eight tries for a .536/.567 line. A pair of homers, nine RBI and eight runs scored were good enough to beat out some tough competition for the bronze.

Three Stars - Pitchers

#1 - Jake Peavy, Guitar Face
The Guitar Face ace makes his second Three Stars appearance in two weeks after racking up twenty K's and a 1.93/0.79 line on the week.

#3 - Phillip Hughes, 2 Piece & a Biscuit
Hughes' no-hit bid came to an abrupt end after six and a third, not because of an opposing hitter but because of a hamstring injury. Hopefully for the 2 Piece faithful, this outing was a show of what is to come, not what could have been.

#3 - Chris White Young, Death Ro
Chris Young threw eight shutout innings this week, allowing three hits and striking out eight in the victory.

Next Week in Hardcore

Be sure to read Shaun's preview below of "Next Week in Hardcore"

This Week In Hardcore - 4/29/07

The shortstops take over this week, as BJ Upton and Jimmy Rollins lead their teams to victory. Not to be outdone, the hurlers had their share of dominance as John Maine continued his winning streak. A Guitar Face pitcher had a sixteen strikeout performance but it wasn't enough to pick up a victory. 2 Piece and a Biscuit makes a huge move in the standings but first place remains unchallenged. We also saw two more league records fall on offense this week. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."

Game of the Week
Champ Edges Azzkickers, 6-4-2

The Champ offense just keeps rolling out records as they break their own home run record from last week. On monday alone, they launched nine bombs as a team. They also led the league in Runs and RBI so the Azzkickers took one for the rest of the league this week. Thanks guys. Luckily for the rest of the league, the pitching staff has not followed suit and was only able to eek out one win and two ties against a subpar effort from the Azzkicker hurlers. Each club only managed one pitching Victory in a down week. Both clubs fall one spot in the standings, The Champ to fourth, and The Azzkickers to sixth.

Jeff Francoeur was the star on offense for Champ this week, going 12-for-27 with two homers, six runs, and seven driven in. Chipper Jones also had a monster week, going 10-for-29 with two homers, five runs scored and six RBI. Gary Sheffield, of all people, stole two bases and scored nine times. Adrian Gonzalez also had two homers and led the team in RBI with eight. Lance Berkman seems to be coming around, going 9-for-25 this week. Barry Bonds and Nick Swisher each had a pair of homers as well. Greg Maddux turned in a strong start, allowing two runs over seven in his victory. Barry Zito allowed three runs in seven innings. Freddy Garcia fanned eight to lead the team but allowed four runs without making it out of the fifth. Francisco Cordero picked up three saves and Mike MacDougal garnered two holds.

Adam Lind was the bright spot for the Azzkicker offense, as the prospect hit two homers, scored seven and drove in six. Prince Fielder had a three homer week and Chris B(lack) Young stole a pair of bases. Hanley Ramirez was 9-for-25 at the plate this week, scoring five times. Brian Giles scored five times as well. Uber-prospect Alex Gordon showed some signs of life this week, hitting .278/.536, which must be a relief to team management. Roy Halladay struck out ten in eight innings, allowing three runs in a victory. Matt Cain continued his strong season, allowing one hit and one run over six innings. Al Reyes picked up a pair of saves and Justin Speier notched two holds.

Beatdown of the Week
2 Piece Brings the Thunder to the Guts

Narrowly missing the league mark for worst beatdown, 2 Piece and a Biscuit really took out their frustration on the Thunder Guts this week with a 10-2 series victory. An offensive sweep and solid pitching vaulted our friends from Popeye's from sixth place into second, five and a half out of first. The Thunder Guts now sit one game out of last place after starting the season near the top of the standings.

Chase Utley and steriod suspect Gary Matthews Jr both tag teamed the Thunder Guts this week. Utley was 12-for-27 with a pair of homers, ten driven in, seven runs scored and a steal. Matthews was 13-for-29 with two bombs and a steal, while driving in six and scoring eight. Dan Uggla and Mark Teixeira also had two homers each. Matt Holliday was 12-for-28 with a homer, a steal, and eight driven in. Dave Roberts swiped two bases to lead the team. Kevin Youkilis added ten hits. John Maine continued his ridiculous start to the season, allowing only one run in 14.2 innings while striking out thirteen in his two victories. John Smoltz struck out eight in his victory. Jonathon Papelbon picked up two saves and Scott Linebrink held two games.

Rocco Baldelli was the star(?) for the Thunder Guts offense this week, only because someone had to be. Baldelli hit .421/.450 with two homers and a steal. Derek Jeter and Russell Martin each had eight hits. Justin Morneau and Troy Krzyzewski, or Tulowitzki, or whatever, each had two homers. Ray Durham led the team in RBI with six. Aaron Harang won both of his starts in unspectacular fashion, allowing seven earned over 15.2 innings. He did fan fourteen to lead the club. Johan Santana was not himself this week, also allowing seven runs over two starts without picking up a victory. Scott Olsen struck out ten in his lone start of the week, allowing three earned over eight. Francisco Rodriguez picked up two saves.

Nail-biter of the Week
Urologists, Three Shots Roll Sixes

FINALLY, the first place Meaty Urologists have played a series that they didn't win! While that has to be a relief for the rest of the league, let the record show that they didn't lose either. With our second series split in as many weeks, The Urologists continue to hold first place in the league. Three Shots moves up a spot to seventh

Torii Hunter provided the pop for MeatU this week with three jacks, five RBI, seven runs and a 10-for-25 week at the plate. Curtis Granderson, Paulie Walnuts, and The Big Hurt all had a pair of homers this week. Juan Pierre and Julio Lugo went nuts on the bases this week, stealing nine bags between them. Chad Tracy was 9-for-16 for a .563/.650 line this week. Miguel Tejada also had nine hits. Bartolo Colon was good in his 2007 debut, striking out eleven in seven innings of work for the victory. Erik Bedard struck out seventeen to lead the club. Bronson Arroyo allowed one run in seven innings. Hideki Okajima picked up two holds in his debut for the club.

Jose Lopez starred for Three Shots this week, going 9-for-18 at the plate with two homers, five runs and five driven in. Vernon Wells was 11-for-24, good for a .458/.567 line, with a homer, three steals and nine runs scored. Ian Kinsler continued his hot start with a pair of homers, two steals, and six RBI. Jason Bay drove in seven to lead the club, while Corey Patterson stole three bases. Jermaine Dye hit a pair of homers and Alex Rios scored seven times this week. Danny Haren won both of his starts this week, allowing only three runs in fourteen innings, striking out twelve. Tim Hudson also fanned twelve hitters in his eight innings of work. Randy Johnson took the ball twice this week, striking out twelve but allowed eight runs. Jose Valverde notched three saves on the week.

Taintstains Defecate on Drunks, 7-4-1

Taintstains pitching carried this series, as the Eastside hurlers were 5-1 on the week. The Taintstains also set a record on the bases, swiping eighteen bags. Even a monster week by Magglio Ordonez couldn't save the Drunks, as they drop yet another series. The Taintstains drop a spot to fifth this week, while Too Drunk to Function maintains their hold on the basement.

J-Roll did it up for Eastside this week, leading the team in just about everything. His eleven hits, three homers, ten runs and six RBI all led the team and his four steals were second to Jose Reyes' six. Brian Roberts was 10-for-28 with a homer, six runs and two steals. Grady Sizemore stayed hot with a homer and four steals. Randy Winn (.438/.471) and Shawn Green (.417/.462) each had good weeks in limited duty. Scott Kazmir led the staff this week, going 13.2 innings and allowing only three runs while picking up one victory in his two starts. Boof Bonser fired five shutout innings, fanning eight. Tom Glavine allowed one run in six innings, while Josh Beckett held his opposition to two runs over eight innings. Mark Buehrle struck out twelve in his two starts, winning one of them. Armando Benitez had three saves and Chad Cordero had two of his own.

Magglio Ordonez had a week, going 12-for-21 with two homers, seven runs scored, eleven RBI and a .571/.654 line. Aaron Rowand was also huge, going 11-for-27 (.407/.467) with three bombs, six runs and five driven in. Carl Crawford stole four bases, scored five times and drove in six. Eric Chavez had a pair of homers and five RBI. Michael Young was 10-for-29 and Jason Giambi was 9-for-20. John Lackey threw six innings of one-run ball to pick up a victory in his only start of the week. Braden Looper allowed one run in seven innings of work. Kevin Millwood fanned thirteen in eleven innings of uninspiring work this week. Jason Isringhausen closed out two games.

Death Ro Executes Guitar Face, 7-5

Another tight series drops The Death Ro into third in the standings. Guitar Face maintains their hold on eighth, looking to turn it around. Led by BJ Upton, Death Ro was 4-2 on offense and 3-3 in pitching.

BJ Upton rocked Guitar Face this week, going 10-for-24 with three homers, three steals, nine RBI, and six runs scored, leading the team in everything but hits. A-Rod was slacking this week, only hitting two homeruns. Maybe next week he'll be better. Kenji Johjima also hit a pair of jacks. Derrek Lee was 12-for-23 (.522/.542) with five runs, five RBI, and a homer. Edgar Renteria was -12-for-28 with the rest of Lee's line, plus a steal. Brendan Phillips and Nomar Garciaparra both had ten hits as well. Curt Schilling won his start with seven innings of one-run ball. Carlos Zambrano struck out nine in his two starts, winning one. Bobby Jenks saved two games and Scot Shields garnered two holds.

Todd Helton was hitting like it was 1999 again, going 11-for-20 for a .550/.690 line on the week. Miguel Cabrera also had eleven hits, plus two jacks and six runs scored. Stephen Drew hit .450/.476 for the week with a homer and seven RBI. Vlad Guerrero and Jhonny Peralta both hit two homers and drove in five. Your "Weird Line of the Week" goes to Adam Dunn, who went 3-for-18 with two homers, a steal, and six runs scored. Huh? Kelly Johnson continues his hot hitting, with a .400/.556 week and nine runs scored. Jake Peavy fanned sixteen hitters in only seven scoreless innings this week, scattering two hits but still couldn't pick up a victory. Ian Snell also worked seven scoreless in his win this week. Dontrelle Willis picked up two more wins this week despite his 6.23 ERA. Huston Street saved two games and Derrick Turnbow notched two holds.

Three Stars - Hitters

#1 - Jimmy Rollins, Eastside Taintstains
The Taintstains backup shortstop was all over the place this week, with eleven hits, three homers, ten runs scored, six RBI and four steals.

#2 - BJ Upton, The Death Ro
Upton did his best Jimmy Rollins impersonation this week, with ten hits, three homers, six runs scored, nine RBI, and three steals.

#3 - Magglio Ordonez, Too Drunk to Function
A 12-for-21 performance, a .571/.654 line, with a pair of bombs and eleven driven in secures the bronze this week.

Three Stars - Pitchers

#1 - John Maine, 2 Piece & a Biscuit
This Week: two starts, two wins. Thirteen K's in fourteen innings. One run. 0.61 ERA and a 1.02 WHIP. Season: 4-0, 1.35, 30 K's and a 1.05 WHIP.

#2 - Jake Peavy, Guitar Face
This is the first time a pitcher who didn't get a single win makes the Three Stars. I guess that happens when you fan sixteen in seven shutout innings.

#3 - Dan Haren, Three Shots
A two-win week for Haren, with an ERA of 1.88 and WHIP of 0.91 is pretty good. Throw in twelve K's and you've got a Third Star performance.

Next Week in Hardcore

Read Shaun's article below for a preview of Next Week in Hardcore!

This Week In Hardcore - 4/22/07

Well, the bats finally woke up this week. After a slow start to the season, we saw new highs set in Runs, Homers, RBI, and Steals this week, as well as some unbelievable personal performances at the plate. A-Rod still cannot be contained and Travis Hafner and Bill Hall helped Three Shots in March set the league HR and RBI record. Champ tied the newly-minted Home Run mark with help from an unusual source: JJ Hardy? The Azzkickers took the league Runs record, with 69 while the Biscuiteers broke the steals mark. A few pitchers decided not to let the hitters have all the fun as Zito, Cain, and Hamels all pitched wonderfully this week and that Buehrle guy was pretty good too. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."

Hardcore Game of the Week
Meat-U Survives 6-5-1 Against Guitar Face

In a battle that wasn't decided until late sunday night, the Meaty Urologists come from behind to beat Guitar Face by half a game. A late steal, homer, and RBI from JD Drew sealed the deal as the Urology Dept wins their third straight series. The narrow victory allows them to hold on to their seven game lead. Guitar Face, while holding their own against the class of the league thusfar, has dropped their last two series and are 8-13-3 in the last two weeks.

Juan Pierre was on fire this week, going 14-for-32 at the plate (.438/.471) with eleven runs scored and three steals. Miguel Tejada hit .478/.520 to lead the club in both categories to go along with his five RBIs. Big Papi provided the pop with three homers, six driven in and five runs scored this week. Tad Iguchi had a pair of steals in his .353/.500 week at the plate. Torii Hunter also hit .353 and drove in five. Cole Hamels rang up fifteen hitters in his complete game victory this week, setting a high water mark for K's in a game this season. Tom Gorzelanny won both of his starts this week, allowing four runs in fourteen and a third to go with his eight strikeouts. The Meaty Urologists maintain their seven game lead over Death Ro.

Filling in for the injured Howie Kendrick, second baseman Kelly Johnson had a monster week for Guitar Face, going 13-for-25 (.520/.600) with two homers, six runs, six driven in and a steal. Todd Helton hit .421/.538 on the week. The Flyin' Hawaiian Shane Victorino was 10-for-27 with three steals for a .370/.433 line on the week. Chris Burke kicked in two steals for the Rockers. Kyle Lohse threw seven innings of shutout ball in his debut for the team this week. Brandon Webb struck out thirteen over eight innings while allowing just one run in his start. Salomon Torres and Huston Street each saved two games without allowing a run. Ian Snell allowed three runs in fourteen innings of work this week, winning one of his starts and striking out ten. Guitar Face remains in seventh place.

Beatdown of the Week
Death Ro Executes Drunks, 7-3-2

Here at This Week in Hardcore, we try to be caring, sensitive reporters who try not to make anyone feel bad. HOWEVA, the Drunks need to lay off the sauce. Too Drunk to Function dropped their third straight series to tighten their stranglehold on the basement. While a closer match than our previous Beatdowns, the Death Ro offense took out their aggression on the Drunkards, losing only On-Base by .001. I would demand a recount but that might be rubbing it in too much. Pitching in this match was dead even, with each staff going 2-2-2 so I guess the Beatdown should be credited only to the Death Ro-ffense.

Someone stop this man before he kills again! A-Rod got all mashy again this week, continuing his assault and battery on poor unworthy pitchers. 10-for-27, nine runs, five bombs, thirteen ribs, .370/.393. That's just stupid. Brendan Phillips had a week, with two homers and two steals while driving in seven. Marcus Giles had twelve hits in thirty tries for an even .400 average this week. Derrek Lee scored eight times and swiped two bags while getting on base at a .455 clip. Chris "White" Young threw seven innings of one run, seven K ball in his victory this week to lead the staff. Bobby Jenks closed out three games in his three appearances. Chris Capuano won both of his starts this week while striking out eleven in as many innings of work. Daisuke Matsuzaka fanned seventeen in his two starts but the ERA was a bloated 5.54. The Death Ro now sits alone in second place, seven back.

Jim Thome tried his best to get Too Drunk back in the game this week but his 5-for-11, three homer, six run week wasn't enough. Magglio Ordonez drove in eight for the Drunks while Garrett Atkins and Aaron Rowand led the club in hits with nine. Rowand also added two homers. Jason Giambi hit .400/.471 on the week. Braden Looper turned in seven innings of one-run ball in his victory this week. Brad Penny went thirteen innings in his two starts, allowing three runs and picking up a victory in the process. Justin Verlander fanned twelve to lead the club in that category. CC Sabathia allowed two runs over seven innings in his start, striking out eight. It wasn't a real pretty week for Too Drunk to Function, as they fall three games behind the Thunder Guts and into sole posession of last place.

Nail-biter of the Week
Thunder Guts and Champ Draw 6-6

The first ever series tie in Hardcore League history was a true split, as even the hitters and pitchers each tied at three wins apiece. We saw the Champ offense set a new series homerun record with sixteen this week. Five Champs hit more than one home run last week in their offensive barrage. They also topped the previous record in Runs and RBI, only to be beaten out for the record the same week. Strikeouts came down to the wire with a 44-43 win going to Champ. Each team dropped one spot in the standings with the split, Champ to third and Thunder Guts to ninth.

The Champ offensive explosion was led by Barry Bonds and JJ Hardy, who both launched three homers this week, while Adrian Gonzalez, Aramis Ramirez and Chipper Jones all hit two apiece. Bonds scored seven times and hit .471/.565 on the week. Gonzalez drove in eight and scored five times. Ramirez drove in seven and Jeff Francoeur drove in eight while only hitting .192 on the week. Jeff Kent was 11-for-25 for a .440/.481 line. Barry Zito was the pitching star for Champ, throwing thirteen scoreless innings in his two victories this week, striking out nine. Francisco Cordero closed out three games with his four scoreless innings. Freddy Garcia fanned nine in his pair of starts.

Felipe "Li'l Flip" Lopez had twelve hits to lead the Thunder Guts offense. Albert Pujols broke out of his early season slump with two homers and five RBI. Eric Byrnes hit .393/.469 on the week while swiping two bases. Corey Hart stole three bags and hit .500/.632 in limited action. Russell Martin continued his torrid start by driving in seven. Team Captain Derek Jeter was 9-for-28 with eight runs scored and one million born champion points. Aaron Harang struck out eight over six innings in his one-run start this week. Johan Santana recovered from his rough stretch last week to allow one run over seven innings while striking out a batter per inning in his victory. Jeremy Bonderman also allowed one run over seven, fanning six. Bob Wickman saved three games and Francisco Rodriguez saved two.

Taintstains Drink Three Shots, Win 8-4

In a case of "What do I have to do?", Three Shots set league records in home runs and RBIs and still lost their series. The Taintstains starting pitching was in a groove all week helping to edge their opponents in wins 5-4 while getting quality starts from everyone but Scott Kazmir. Getting a no-hitter thrown in there doesn't hurt either. The Taintstains climbed two spots in the standings to fourth while Three Shots fell three spots to eighth.

Catcher Michael Barret was the hitting star for Eastside this week, collecting four homers, ten RBI, and hitting .381. Manny Ramirez, Jason Varitek and Shawn Green each hit a pair of homers this week. Jose Reyes was 13-for-28 with four steals and eight runs scored for a .464/.516 line. Brian Roberts stole five bases to lead the club. Coco Crisp and Green both hit an even .400 for the week. Mark Buerhle's no-hitter was the story on the Eastside and throughout the baseball world this week. Rich Hill also provided some excitement with an eight inning shutout victory. Anibal Sanchez allowed three runs in ten innings of work this week. Armando Benitez added two saves.

Travis Hafner went crazy this week for Three Shots, going 12-for-22 with three homers, eight RBI, and five runs scored for a .545/.630 line. Bill Hall also got mashy, going 12-for-28 with three homers, nine runs and nine RBI while hitting .429/.484 on the week. Adam LaRoche hit two homers and Orlando Hudson drove in eight. Scott Rolen's bat finally woke up with a 9-for-22 week, good for a .409 average. Tim Hudson fired eight scoreless innings in his victory while Dan Haren followed with seven shutout frames and a victory of his own. Ervin Santana led the club in strikeouts with nine in his two starts. The less said about Chuck James and Jeff Francis this week the better. Joe Nathan saved three games.

2 Piece Kicks The Azzkickers While They're Down 7-4-1

In another record-setting series, 2 Piece and a Biscuit took the Azzkickers behind the woodshed despite being completely abandoned by their starting pitching. The chicken moguls set a league mark for steals with fourteen and the Azzkickers scored 69 times (Get it? They SCORED 69 times. What, it's funny.) to break the league record in runs. The series brought 2 Piece and a Biscuit up two spots to sixth while The Azzkickers dropped three spots to fifth.

Carlos Beltran had a huge week for 2 Piece with two homers, nine RBI, seven runs scored, two steals and a .448/.484 line. Moises Alou also broke out the lumber, going 10-for-22 with two bombs, seven RsBI, and six runs scored. Carlos Guillen drove in ten runs this week to go along with his two homers and two steals. Dan Uggla hit two homers while driving in seven and scoring seven. Matt Holliday was 12-for-26 this week for a .462/.500 line and Ryan Freel was 10-for-29 with six runs scored. John Maine continued his hot start, allowing two runs over seven innings while striking out seven in his victory. Roy Oswalt struck out nine in his two starts this week, giving up five runs in thirteen innings or work. Adam Wainwright got knocked around this week, allowing eleven runs in eleven innings to go along with his eleven strikeouts. Chris Ray picked up two saves.

Joe Mauer hit .524/.593 for the Azzkickers this week by going 11-for-21 with seven driven in, six runs scored and two steals. Hanley Ramirez hit two homers and scored seven times while getting on base at a .486 clip. Ryan Zimmerman and Brian Giles each had eleven hits, marking the end of Zimmerman's slow start. Michael Cuddyer drove in eight to lead the club, while Rich Aurilia, Xavier Nady, Nick Markakis and Zimmerman all drove in six. Rickie Weeks led the team with three steals. Matt Cain was fantastic in his two starts this week, throwing sixteen innings of one run ball, striking out eleven and picking up a victory. Randy Wolf got the only other victory for the pitching staff, going six innings and giving up a run while striking out ten. Joe Borowski saved two for the Azzkickers.

Three Stars - Hitters

#1 - Alex Rodriguez, Death Ro
I guess hitting five homers, driving in thirteen, and a .370/.393 line is good, but geez A-Rod, can't you steal a base or something?

#2 - Travis Hafner, Three Shots
Looks like Pronk was angry this week, belting three bombs, driving in eight and hitting a ridiculous .545/.630. Opposing teams wouldn't like Pronk when he's angry.

#3 - Carlos Beltran, 2 Piece and a Biscuit
Giving you an idea of how ridiculous this week was for hitters, 13-for-29, two homers, two steals, nine RBI, seven runs, .448/.484 was only good enough for THIRD PLACE. Try harder next week, Carlos.

Three Stars - Pitchers

#1 - Mark Buehrle, Eastside Taintstains
He only took the ball once this week, but what a start it was. One walk away from perfection and eight K's. I'm sure ESPN didn't mention this yet, but he didn't throw a single pitch over 90 mph.

#2 - Barry Zito, The Champ is Here
Quite the comeback for Barry Z this week, picking up two wins without allowing a run in thirteen innings of work. Could have been #1 this week if the guy above him would have given up a hit.

#3 - Cole Hamels, Meaty Urologists
Hamels takes the lead for K's in a game this season with his fifteen strikeout performance. He allowed a run on five hits in his complete game victory. I think he'll be appearing on this list for a long time.

Next Week in Hardcore

Be sure to read Shaun's post below for his analysis of the Next Week in Hardcore.