This Week In Hardcore - 4/29/07

The shortstops take over this week, as BJ Upton and Jimmy Rollins lead their teams to victory. Not to be outdone, the hurlers had their share of dominance as John Maine continued his winning streak. A Guitar Face pitcher had a sixteen strikeout performance but it wasn't enough to pick up a victory. 2 Piece and a Biscuit makes a huge move in the standings but first place remains unchallenged. We also saw two more league records fall on offense this week. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."

Game of the Week
Champ Edges Azzkickers, 6-4-2

The Champ offense just keeps rolling out records as they break their own home run record from last week. On monday alone, they launched nine bombs as a team. They also led the league in Runs and RBI so the Azzkickers took one for the rest of the league this week. Thanks guys. Luckily for the rest of the league, the pitching staff has not followed suit and was only able to eek out one win and two ties against a subpar effort from the Azzkicker hurlers. Each club only managed one pitching Victory in a down week. Both clubs fall one spot in the standings, The Champ to fourth, and The Azzkickers to sixth.

Jeff Francoeur was the star on offense for Champ this week, going 12-for-27 with two homers, six runs, and seven driven in. Chipper Jones also had a monster week, going 10-for-29 with two homers, five runs scored and six RBI. Gary Sheffield, of all people, stole two bases and scored nine times. Adrian Gonzalez also had two homers and led the team in RBI with eight. Lance Berkman seems to be coming around, going 9-for-25 this week. Barry Bonds and Nick Swisher each had a pair of homers as well. Greg Maddux turned in a strong start, allowing two runs over seven in his victory. Barry Zito allowed three runs in seven innings. Freddy Garcia fanned eight to lead the team but allowed four runs without making it out of the fifth. Francisco Cordero picked up three saves and Mike MacDougal garnered two holds.

Adam Lind was the bright spot for the Azzkicker offense, as the prospect hit two homers, scored seven and drove in six. Prince Fielder had a three homer week and Chris B(lack) Young stole a pair of bases. Hanley Ramirez was 9-for-25 at the plate this week, scoring five times. Brian Giles scored five times as well. Uber-prospect Alex Gordon showed some signs of life this week, hitting .278/.536, which must be a relief to team management. Roy Halladay struck out ten in eight innings, allowing three runs in a victory. Matt Cain continued his strong season, allowing one hit and one run over six innings. Al Reyes picked up a pair of saves and Justin Speier notched two holds.

Beatdown of the Week
2 Piece Brings the Thunder to the Guts

Narrowly missing the league mark for worst beatdown, 2 Piece and a Biscuit really took out their frustration on the Thunder Guts this week with a 10-2 series victory. An offensive sweep and solid pitching vaulted our friends from Popeye's from sixth place into second, five and a half out of first. The Thunder Guts now sit one game out of last place after starting the season near the top of the standings.

Chase Utley and steriod suspect Gary Matthews Jr both tag teamed the Thunder Guts this week. Utley was 12-for-27 with a pair of homers, ten driven in, seven runs scored and a steal. Matthews was 13-for-29 with two bombs and a steal, while driving in six and scoring eight. Dan Uggla and Mark Teixeira also had two homers each. Matt Holliday was 12-for-28 with a homer, a steal, and eight driven in. Dave Roberts swiped two bases to lead the team. Kevin Youkilis added ten hits. John Maine continued his ridiculous start to the season, allowing only one run in 14.2 innings while striking out thirteen in his two victories. John Smoltz struck out eight in his victory. Jonathon Papelbon picked up two saves and Scott Linebrink held two games.

Rocco Baldelli was the star(?) for the Thunder Guts offense this week, only because someone had to be. Baldelli hit .421/.450 with two homers and a steal. Derek Jeter and Russell Martin each had eight hits. Justin Morneau and Troy Krzyzewski, or Tulowitzki, or whatever, each had two homers. Ray Durham led the team in RBI with six. Aaron Harang won both of his starts in unspectacular fashion, allowing seven earned over 15.2 innings. He did fan fourteen to lead the club. Johan Santana was not himself this week, also allowing seven runs over two starts without picking up a victory. Scott Olsen struck out ten in his lone start of the week, allowing three earned over eight. Francisco Rodriguez picked up two saves.

Nail-biter of the Week
Urologists, Three Shots Roll Sixes

FINALLY, the first place Meaty Urologists have played a series that they didn't win! While that has to be a relief for the rest of the league, let the record show that they didn't lose either. With our second series split in as many weeks, The Urologists continue to hold first place in the league. Three Shots moves up a spot to seventh

Torii Hunter provided the pop for MeatU this week with three jacks, five RBI, seven runs and a 10-for-25 week at the plate. Curtis Granderson, Paulie Walnuts, and The Big Hurt all had a pair of homers this week. Juan Pierre and Julio Lugo went nuts on the bases this week, stealing nine bags between them. Chad Tracy was 9-for-16 for a .563/.650 line this week. Miguel Tejada also had nine hits. Bartolo Colon was good in his 2007 debut, striking out eleven in seven innings of work for the victory. Erik Bedard struck out seventeen to lead the club. Bronson Arroyo allowed one run in seven innings. Hideki Okajima picked up two holds in his debut for the club.

Jose Lopez starred for Three Shots this week, going 9-for-18 at the plate with two homers, five runs and five driven in. Vernon Wells was 11-for-24, good for a .458/.567 line, with a homer, three steals and nine runs scored. Ian Kinsler continued his hot start with a pair of homers, two steals, and six RBI. Jason Bay drove in seven to lead the club, while Corey Patterson stole three bases. Jermaine Dye hit a pair of homers and Alex Rios scored seven times this week. Danny Haren won both of his starts this week, allowing only three runs in fourteen innings, striking out twelve. Tim Hudson also fanned twelve hitters in his eight innings of work. Randy Johnson took the ball twice this week, striking out twelve but allowed eight runs. Jose Valverde notched three saves on the week.

Taintstains Defecate on Drunks, 7-4-1

Taintstains pitching carried this series, as the Eastside hurlers were 5-1 on the week. The Taintstains also set a record on the bases, swiping eighteen bags. Even a monster week by Magglio Ordonez couldn't save the Drunks, as they drop yet another series. The Taintstains drop a spot to fifth this week, while Too Drunk to Function maintains their hold on the basement.

J-Roll did it up for Eastside this week, leading the team in just about everything. His eleven hits, three homers, ten runs and six RBI all led the team and his four steals were second to Jose Reyes' six. Brian Roberts was 10-for-28 with a homer, six runs and two steals. Grady Sizemore stayed hot with a homer and four steals. Randy Winn (.438/.471) and Shawn Green (.417/.462) each had good weeks in limited duty. Scott Kazmir led the staff this week, going 13.2 innings and allowing only three runs while picking up one victory in his two starts. Boof Bonser fired five shutout innings, fanning eight. Tom Glavine allowed one run in six innings, while Josh Beckett held his opposition to two runs over eight innings. Mark Buehrle struck out twelve in his two starts, winning one of them. Armando Benitez had three saves and Chad Cordero had two of his own.

Magglio Ordonez had a week, going 12-for-21 with two homers, seven runs scored, eleven RBI and a .571/.654 line. Aaron Rowand was also huge, going 11-for-27 (.407/.467) with three bombs, six runs and five driven in. Carl Crawford stole four bases, scored five times and drove in six. Eric Chavez had a pair of homers and five RBI. Michael Young was 10-for-29 and Jason Giambi was 9-for-20. John Lackey threw six innings of one-run ball to pick up a victory in his only start of the week. Braden Looper allowed one run in seven innings of work. Kevin Millwood fanned thirteen in eleven innings of uninspiring work this week. Jason Isringhausen closed out two games.

Death Ro Executes Guitar Face, 7-5

Another tight series drops The Death Ro into third in the standings. Guitar Face maintains their hold on eighth, looking to turn it around. Led by BJ Upton, Death Ro was 4-2 on offense and 3-3 in pitching.

BJ Upton rocked Guitar Face this week, going 10-for-24 with three homers, three steals, nine RBI, and six runs scored, leading the team in everything but hits. A-Rod was slacking this week, only hitting two homeruns. Maybe next week he'll be better. Kenji Johjima also hit a pair of jacks. Derrek Lee was 12-for-23 (.522/.542) with five runs, five RBI, and a homer. Edgar Renteria was -12-for-28 with the rest of Lee's line, plus a steal. Brendan Phillips and Nomar Garciaparra both had ten hits as well. Curt Schilling won his start with seven innings of one-run ball. Carlos Zambrano struck out nine in his two starts, winning one. Bobby Jenks saved two games and Scot Shields garnered two holds.

Todd Helton was hitting like it was 1999 again, going 11-for-20 for a .550/.690 line on the week. Miguel Cabrera also had eleven hits, plus two jacks and six runs scored. Stephen Drew hit .450/.476 for the week with a homer and seven RBI. Vlad Guerrero and Jhonny Peralta both hit two homers and drove in five. Your "Weird Line of the Week" goes to Adam Dunn, who went 3-for-18 with two homers, a steal, and six runs scored. Huh? Kelly Johnson continues his hot hitting, with a .400/.556 week and nine runs scored. Jake Peavy fanned sixteen hitters in only seven scoreless innings this week, scattering two hits but still couldn't pick up a victory. Ian Snell also worked seven scoreless in his win this week. Dontrelle Willis picked up two more wins this week despite his 6.23 ERA. Huston Street saved two games and Derrick Turnbow notched two holds.

Three Stars - Hitters

#1 - Jimmy Rollins, Eastside Taintstains
The Taintstains backup shortstop was all over the place this week, with eleven hits, three homers, ten runs scored, six RBI and four steals.

#2 - BJ Upton, The Death Ro
Upton did his best Jimmy Rollins impersonation this week, with ten hits, three homers, six runs scored, nine RBI, and three steals.

#3 - Magglio Ordonez, Too Drunk to Function
A 12-for-21 performance, a .571/.654 line, with a pair of bombs and eleven driven in secures the bronze this week.

Three Stars - Pitchers

#1 - John Maine, 2 Piece & a Biscuit
This Week: two starts, two wins. Thirteen K's in fourteen innings. One run. 0.61 ERA and a 1.02 WHIP. Season: 4-0, 1.35, 30 K's and a 1.05 WHIP.

#2 - Jake Peavy, Guitar Face
This is the first time a pitcher who didn't get a single win makes the Three Stars. I guess that happens when you fan sixteen in seven shutout innings.

#3 - Dan Haren, Three Shots
A two-win week for Haren, with an ERA of 1.88 and WHIP of 0.91 is pretty good. Throw in twelve K's and you've got a Third Star performance.

Next Week in Hardcore

Read Shaun's article below for a preview of Next Week in Hardcore!