Hey kids, This Week in Hardcore is sponsored by BJC Healthcare who actually made me do work last week and prevented me from getting this out in a timely manner. In order to repay them for their generosity, I will be writing two articles on their dime this week! So, the article you've all been waiting for... Last Week in Hardcore!
Perhaps the most important and exciting development for Hardcore Fans out there was that the first-place Meaty Urologists finally lost a series, to the ninth-place Drunks! Here at This (Last) Week in Hardcore, we hate to rejoice in the misery of others, but MeatU's first loss of the year is a cause for celebration. To help the cause, we're offering free beer all day yesterday at TWIH headquarters so be sure to stop by! Last week, we saw David Wright confirm that he has a pulse, which was nice for all the Eastside Taintstain fans out there. We saw a pair of pitchers, Jose Contreras and Kelvim Escobar, throw complete game shutouts and pair of Jr's lock up in an offensive battle in the Hardcore Game of the Week. All this and more in the latest edition of "This Week in Hardcore."
Hardcore Game of the Week
2 Piece Kills Death Ro, 6-3-3
A #2 vs. #3 matchup between in-laws kept this week's Game of the Week all in the family. 2 Piece and a Biscuit keeps the momentum going, not having lost a series since Week 2 and moving within 5.5 games of the league lead. The fried chicken experts' pitching has been on fire in recent weeks, going 13-7-4 the last four weeks. Death Ro's own streak was stopped this week, ending a run of four straight winning weeks and dropping to fourth place, eight games back. The problem for Death Ro may be the hitting, as they have lost two weeks in a row after carring the squad for the first month of the year.
Gary Matthews Jr must be back on the juice this week, hitting four homers and driving in eleven to lead 2 Piece & a Biscuit in both categories. Kevin Youkilis was 11-for-21 on the week with six RBI for a .524/.583 line. Chase Utley had a pair of homers to go with his six runs scored and five driven in. Matt Holliday had three bombs, driving in five. Mark Teixeira went 10-for-25 with six RBI. Roy Oswalt won both of his starts this week, striking out twelve in the process. Jose Contreras threw a complete game shutout to win his only start of the week. Adam Wainwright scattered nine hits in six innings, allowing one run in his victory. JJ Putz picked up three saves with three scoreless innnings this week. Scott Linebrink held two games.
While losing the battle of the Juniors this week, Ken Griffey Jr also led The Death Ro in homers and RBI, with three and nine respectively to go with his ten hits and a steal. Carlos Lee was 11-for-28 with a pair of homers, six runs and six RBI. Brandon Phillips and Ichiro Suzuki each had eleven hits on the week. Suzuki scored seven times and stole two bases. Phillips scored six times and homered. Daisuke Matsuzaka seemed to regain his dominating form, allowing one run over seven, striking out eight in his victory. Ted Lilly pitched fifteen innings in his two starts this week, allowing three runs, striking out ten and picking up a victory. Chris White Young allowed three runs in eleven innings, fanning nine and garnering a win. Chris Capuano led the club with eleven K's. Bobby Jenks saved a pair of games.
Beatdown of the Week
Champ Poops All Over Taintstains, 9-2-1
And the beat goes on for The Champs as they pound the Taintstains this week. The beatdown vaults The Champs into second place only 4.5 games back and the closest any team has been to first since the first week. Eastside holds steady at sixth place, but fall to 12.5 back after this series. The Champs are now the only team in the league to have not lost a series yet this year, posting a 4-0-2 series mark so far. The league's best offense has carried a rather pedestrian pitching staff, with the team going 24-12 with the bats this year. The Taintstains fall back below .500 for the first time in a month and look to stop the slide.
Somebody remind JJ Hardy that he's not any good. He continued his push for the MVP (GROSS!) this week, hitting three more bombs and driving in eight for the Champ. Rumors of Lance Berkman's demise were greatly exaggerated, as he also clubbed three homers, drove in six and scored eight. Adrian Gonzalez, Aramis Ramirez, and Jeff Kent all hit two homers apiece as the most powerful team in the league continued their power surge. Jeff Francoeur led the club with ten hits and Jorge Posada and Rafael Furcal each had nine hits. Furcal had two steals and Andruw Jones drove in nine. John Danks pitched into the seventh, allowing one run to pick up a victory. Greg Maddux went five and a third, allowing one run on three hits before departing. Francisco Cordero and Rafael Soriano each had three saves.
David Wright reminded everyone that he's still alive by going 9-for-24 at the plate with a homer and FOUR(!?!?) steals for Eastside. Raul Ibanez had nine hits, six RBI and five runs scored on the week. Manny Ramirez scored six and drove in six, adding a homer. Grady Sizemore stole three bases and Jose Reyes swiped two. Brian Roberts was 9-for-30 with a steal. Carlos Delgado had a pair of homers but was only 4-21 on the week. Tom Glavine led the staff this week, going seven innings allowing only one run to pick up the victory. Boof Bonser struck out thirteen in his two starts this week, winning one. Josh Beckett held opponents to three runs in eleven innings, fanning twelve and winning one of his two starts.
Nail-biter of the Week
Three Shots Makes It Rain on Thunder Guts, 6-5-1
Ah, the Toilet Bowl. The game that everyone else can make fun of and it's no surprise that the two cellar dwellers nearly split their series. The Thunder Guts bats took it to Three Shots, 4-1-1, but were bested by the Three Shots hurlers who went 5-1 to take the series. The win for Three Shots was their first since Week 2, once again riding the pitching to victory. They have yet to win a hitting series, going 0-5-1 with the bats so far this year. The Thunder Guts did get their first hitting win of the season but it was not enough to take the series. Their hold on last became tighter, falling 5.5 back of ninth place Three Shots.
Jason Bay led the way for the Three Shots offense this week, going 10-for-24 with five driven in, six scored, and a homer. Orlando Hudson and Alex Rios each had two homers. Travis Hafner led the club in RBI with six, followed by Mike Lowell and Corey Patterson with five. Bill Hall was 9-for-24 with a homer. Chuck James posted a 1.69/1.03 line this week in ten and two-thirds innings of work, striking out six and getting a win. Ervin Santana struck out eleven in thirteen innings of work, while Randy Johnson fanned nine in only six innings. Chad Qualls picked up two holds.
Justin Morneau continued to tear it up for the Thunder Guts, launching three bombs, driving in six and scoring six times. Felipe Lopez had two homers, scored five and drove in five, despite hitting .192 on the week. Brad Wilkerson had two homers, scored four and drove in six, despite hitting .176 on the week. Sensing a pattern yet? Derek Jeter led the team in hits with twelve and RBI with seven. Russell Martin continued his hot start, going 9-for-27 with six runs scored. Eric Byrnes had a pair of homers and five runs scored. Javier Vazquez fanned ten in thirteen innings. Francisco Rodriguez had two saves with two scoreless innings of work. Pat Neshek struck out five in just 2.2 innings.
Drunks Upset Urologists 7-5
The reign of terror is over as the Drunks have beaten the first-place Meaty Urologists! There was drunken rioting in the streets following the game, but that's pretty normal following a Too Drunk to Function series. The Drunks moved into a tie for sixth with Eastside, 12.5 back. Meanwhile, MeatU saw their lead shrink to 4.5 games, the closest the race has been since the opening week of the season. The Drunk offense handed the Urologist hitters their first loss in beatdown fashion, 5-1. On the pitching side, the Urologists' effort came up a bit short, winning 4-2. The Drunks have now won 17 games in the last two weeks to become the hottest club in the league.
The Drunks had five players hit a pair of home runs this week, Alfonso Soriano, Lyle Overbay, Eric Chavez, Magglio Ordonez, and Luke Scott. Soriano was 9-for-26 with three steals. Ordonez had six RBI and seven runs to go with his homers. Luke Scott drove in seven and stole a base. Chavez was 9-for-26 with five RBI. Carl Crawford also had nine hits, a homer, and three steals. Craig Monroe scored six runs, while Josh Barfield, Aaron Rowand, and Ramon Hernandez each scored five. Brad Penny was lights out this week, allowing one run over thirteen and a third, winning both of his starts while striking out eighteen. Braden Looper continued his solid start, throwing seven innings of three-hit shutout ball to pick up a victory. Jered Weaver allowed one run over six, striking out five. Dan Wheeler picked up three saves despite a 9.00 ERA for the week.
Julio Lugo led the Meaty Urologists at the plate this week with twelve hits while driving in seven and stealing two bags. Pat Burrell hit a pair of homers, drove in five and scored five times. Torii Hunter also had a pair of bombs while driving in eight. Juan Pierre was 10-for-31 with three steals and Johnny Damon had nine hits, five runs and a pair of steals. David Ortiz scored six runs and drove in seven. AJ Burnett pitched into the seventh allowing just one run and striking out ten to earn the victory. Erik Bedard turned in seven innings of shutout ball, fanning ten in his start this week. Tom Gorzelanny allowed one run in seven innings of work. Billy Wagner saved three games in three perfect innings of work this week. Takashi Saito closed out two games while Jonathon Broxton picked up two holds.
Uncle Teddy Filibusters Guitar Face, 6-5-1
A late charge led the Azzkickers to top Guitar Face for their first series win since opening week. The narrow victory was led by the offense, who posted a 5-1 victory. The pitching was just enough to hold on, as Guitar Face hurlers prevailed 4-1-1. Both teams hold their place in the standings at fifth and eighth respectively.
Chris Black Young led the Azzkickers with a 12-for-23 performance this week, adding two homers, a steal and five runs scored. Prince Fielder also hit two homers and drove in five. Hanley Ramirez had eight hits and two steals, while Brian Giles had ten hits. Ryan Zimmerman appears to be coming around, as he had a homer and six RBI this week. Nick "The Stick" Markakis scored five runs and had a homer. Michael Cuddyer hit a three run homer late sunday night to clinch the victory for The Azzkickers, changing RBIs from a loss to a win. Randy Wolf threw a four-hit shutout for seven innings, striking out eleven in the victory. Andy Pettitte allowed just three runs in fourteen and a third innings this week, striking out six and picking up a victory. Tim Lincecum won his first major league game, allowing two runs in seven innings, striking out six. Brian Fuentes picked up two saves on the week.
For a team that hits .224 on the week, there aren't going to be many stars. Adam Dunn led Guitar Face in everything but steals going 8-for-21 with three homers, six RBI and seven runs scored. Todd Helton had eight hits and two homers. Jake Peavy and Brendan Webb earned their money this week, with Peavy striking out ten in seven scoreless innings and Webb allowing one run and striking out ten in his complete game. Both pitchers picked up wins for their efforts. Kelvim Escobar bested both of them, however, twirling a complete game shutout with nine strikeouts. Ian Snell got back on the right foot this week, allowing four runs in fourteen innings, striking out twelve and getting a win. Casey Janssen had two holds.
Three Stars - Hitters
#1 - Gary Matthews Jr, 2 Piece & a BiscuitMatthews exploded for four homers and eleven RBI this week, twice the number of homers he's had all year and matching his RBI total for the first five weeks.
#2 - Ken Griffey Jr, The Death RoGriffey did his damage in a loss, belting three homers, driving in nine, and going 10-for-25 at the plate this week.
#3 - Lance Berkman, The Champ is HereBerkman broke out of his season long power slump in a big way this week, hitting three homers, scoring eight times, driving in six, and collecting eight hits.
Three Stars - Pitchers
#1 - Brad Penny, Too Drunk To FunctionOne earned over two starts, each start resulting in a win puts you in the three stars. Strike out eighteen in thirteen innings and you take home the gold.
#2 - Kelvim Escobar, Guitar FaceEscobar fired a complete game shutout with seven hits and no walks to take the silver.
#3 - Jose Contreras, 2 Piece & a BiscuitThe other complete game shutout of the week, Contreras allowed five hits and a walk while striking out four.
Next Week in Hardcore
Be sure to read Shaun's preview below of "Next Week in Hardcore"
Hardcore Game of the Week
Beatdown of the Week
2 Piece and a Biscuit Stuffs Channel 4 News Team
Champ Takes Downturn on Death Ro, Ends Week with a 7-5 loss
