League Announcement

Thunder Guts owner Josh Lohnes has announced his resignation. When asked for a statement, he simply replied "Fuck Shaun Kennedy".

Josh was best known as the few weeks a year where you hoped Albert Pujols just walked or hit singles. He also holds the single week record for wins from a pitcher with 11.

He is also well known for the leaked photos of his drunken dance and vomitting episode at the Richards wedding in 2006.

His management style has left the Thunder Guts franchise in great shape for the future. His best years were certainly ahead of him.

With fantasy studs like Albert and the best pitcher on the planet in Roy Halladay returning next year, along with promising prospects like Mike Stanton and Tyler Colvin, the Thunder Guts franchise should have no trouble finding a willing owner.

Snippets from MU Owner Eric Ferguson's Press Conference

"Konerko? Iguchi? They suck. A lot of my guys have sucked, but they suck. A lot. I've f'ing had it with them."
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"Ryan Howard's pissing me off. But he's been hurt. I sunk a lot of money into that bastard, so he'd better produce when he gets back."
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"How are we in first place? I mean, seriously, how is that possible? We suck. From top to bottom. Suck, suck, suck. Oh well, after this week, everything will be different ..."
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"Kevin Kouzmanoff can lick it. Next question."
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"I can neither confirm nor deny that Bartolo Colon ate Todd Coffey. That's the kind of speculation I don't want to get into right now. But I can tell you that Coffey is no longer with the team."

"Rhythm Nation" now "The Death Ro"

As of 8PM CST, Rhythm Nation will now be known as "The Death Ro". A new team name has been in the works for sometime, as manager Suge Knight eluded to in a recent interview, he felt that the name Rythm Nation was not "fucking hard enough fo these nigga's". GM Theo Epstein said he was "approached" by Coach Suge about changing the the team's name and immediately brought it to the attention of team president Justin Rohour. Epstein says that the new name is a blend of Suge's sensibilities and a tribute to the team's beloved and underappreciated president. This new moniker is already a hit in the clubhouse, as CF Mike Cameron had this to say about the teams new swagger, "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks, this ain't nuthin' but a gangsta party!".