Urologists' GM focuses rage on Jeter

In a drunken interview with the BBC, Meaty Urologists GM Eric "Mr. Perfect" Ferguson took Derek Jeter to task for no apparent reason. "That guy owes me money," Ferguson said. "I mean, if you 'borrow' a dollar for a soda, shouldn't you at least attempt to pay it back? Forget that dude. Forget him right in the forgettin' ear!" Ferguson's tirade continued after he finished off a turkey sandwich that he removed from his pants. "And let me tell you something about clutch. I had to pee all the way from Columbia to St. Louis last weekend, but I held it the whole way. The whole way! That is performance under pressure, my friend. Jeter would have pissed himself five times, and then he'd have asked to borrow a pair of pants. "But you wouldn't get those pants back! Uh uh!"