Point/Counterpoint - 5/21/07

Today we have a new feature on the Hardcore League Blog. It's a point/counterpoint written by two of our owners, Shaun Kennedy of the Azzkickers and Jah Slowness of the Thunder Guts. Let's see what they've got for us this week...

TONY’S A FUCKING IDIOT
-Shaun Kennedy

Seven weeks into the season, I look at the top of the standings, and who do I see? None other than "fantasy expert" Turd Ferguson. Is anyone surprised? You shouldn’t be since he’s got a job analyzing and writing about fantasy baseball. But how’d he get in a league with a bunch of dumbasses like us?

Let’s go over a short history lesson to learn how Tony’s been a fucking idiot since the early days of this fantasy league. After deciding to revoke the invitation to known fantasy cheater Jason York, Tony turns to his vintage baseball cohort Turd “Eric” Ferguson because he works at The Sporting News! He’ll enjoy the complicated details of this league! Yeay! When questioned about Turd’s job at TSN, Tony replied, “Nah he just gets coffee for everyone else.”

Hey that’s great Tony. He probably does get coffee for everyone else. Except for all the time he spends analyzing fantasy baseball…ya know…since that’s his job.

Unfortunately we found that out after it was too late.

Now here we are, seven weeks in the books, with Ferguson in first place by a mile. Some may think he has a bad team, but the results speak for themselves. He’s probably laughing at us all right now in the Sporting News’ office, while Brendan Roberts plays pull my finger with the secretary and challenges everyone to a dump-off at 3 o’clock.

I see where this league is heading. I’m predicting four out of five championships for Turd, causing Tony to fake his own death for the sake of the league. We all call it quits and try to spend time with our families, scarred for life from the beat down we took, not to mention $250 down the drain.

Oh and if that does happen, I don’t think Tony has to worry about the “faking” part of his death. My message is clear.

Well, I think we're all clear on where Shaun stands on this topic. What does Josh have to say about me being a fucking idiot? Read on to find out...

TONY’S NOT A FUCKING IDIOT
-Josh Lohnes

Somebody get Shaun a paper bag to breath into before he hyperventilates. I’d expect this kind of hysterics from a fucking idiot like Tony, but Stone Cold Shaun Kennedy? Say it ain’t so.

Let’s clear a few things up. First, Turd Ferguson for Jason Dork is a trade I’ll make every day of the week. The Chicken Hawk’s fantasy baseball shenanigans are, at this point, so legendary that we can no longer be surprised when he cheats.

Second, it’s early. Not as early as it was when I first sat down to write this little rebuttal, but still early enough that we should listen to reason. And reason says that TURD’S TEAM IS AWFUL. Has anyone else taken a look at his squad? He’s got Ryan Howard, David Ortiz, and a bunch of substitute teachers. Actually, with Howard, Ortiz, Frank Thomas and Bartolo Colon, he does have the league’s best sumo wrestling team.

Third of all, in the grand scheme of things, It’s real early. We’re less than two months in to a fantasy league that, for all intents and purposes, will continue on forever. The fantasy “expert” has an old squad that is already on the way down. Trust me, the Meaty Urologists are irrelevant four years from now.

Now, having said all that, I still have to agree with your central point: Tony is a fucking idiot. He is. It’s science. But he isn’t an idiot because he allowed some dude who just happened to write in some fantasy rag into our league. Tony’s an idiot for many other reasons… Like when he poops his pants… at the auction.

Well that was, um, enlightening? I'm actually amazed that they found someone to defend me, though in Josh's favor, he did point out that I am a fucking idiot. HOWEVA, I'd like to point out that sphincter control and idiocy aren't techincally related. I mean, Stephen Hawking probably has sphincter control issues too...

Stay tuned for the next installment of Point/Counterpoint, scheduled for release whenever Josh gets around to writing his part.