Last Week in Hardcore - Week 2

(I betcha thought we forgot... oh, no, we, di'n't!)

Let's get right to it, shall we?

Hardcore Game of the Week
3rd Place James Madison Gang over 1st Place Miami Fart Machine in the Battle of the Bad Offenses

Miami Fart Machine ran out of gas this week after great Week 1 start on the year, as the James Madison Gang emerged victorious, 8-4. Conor Jackson was the only Gang member to hit over .300 for the week, although pitching was strong with Jonathan Sanchez throwing 8 shutout innings with 11 K's for a win, and Mariano Rivera getting 3 saves with a 0.00 ERA. The Gang dominated the pitching categories this week, with 75 K, 5 saves, 1 hold, a 2.274 ERA and a 1.147 WHIP, losing the wins category by only one game, 6-5.

Offensively, the Fart Machine scored 46 runs to Madison's 26, and 11 homeruns to only 4 - but the Gang was able to squeak by with slightly higher numbers in RBI, stolen bases and batting average. The Machine's Dustin Pedroia hit .375 with 2 HR and 6 RBI, but Carlos Lee went 2 for 25 with only 1 run scored. On the mound, Roy Oswalt and David Huff pitched well for wins, but Aaron Harang proved that he's the worst by allowing 8 runs on 10 hits in just 4 innings.

Beatdown of the Week
Lousy Street Weasels over Thunder Guts - 8-3-1

The Street Weasels pulled out this week's beatdown over Thunder Guts, whose only bright spots were home runs (15), RBI (55) and batting average (.270).

Shin-Shoo Choo hit .579 with 3 home runs, 11 RBI, 5 runs and 1 steal. Nelson Cruz hit 3 home runs for the Guts but only managed a .190 average. Roy Halladay continued his dominance, going 8 innings and allowing only 2 runs for a victory.

The Weasels scored 55 runs and notched 12 stolen bases offensively. In pitching, they dominated with 65 K, 7 wins, 4 saves, a 3.209 ERA and 1.156 OBP. Manny Ramirez remained a powerhouse, with a .462 avg., 2 home runs, 6 RBI, 4 runs and a .556 OBP. Denard Span also had a strong showing this week, hitting .381 with 8 runs and 3 steals. In pitching, Matt Garza walked away with 2 wins, 10 K's, a 0.56 ERA and a 0.94 WHIP. Jaime Garcia pitched 7 innings with 1 hit and no runs. Closer David Aardsma had 3 saves on the week.

2 Piece and a Biscuit Stuffs Channel 4 News Team

7-4-1

Once again, the chicken and biscuit are the big winners this week, with tasty showings in RBI (44), stolen bases (16), batting average (.2875), OBP (.3733), K's (84) and holds (6).

Joey Votto and Juan Pierre each had 4 steals, followed by Ben Zobrist and Scott Podsednik with 3 each. Podsednik also hit .542 for the week. Derek Jeter hit .500 with 4 home runs and 7 RBI. On the mound, Adam Wainwright brought home 2 wins, with 17 K's in 16 innings, allowing only 2 runs.

The News Team dropped the ball in those categories but won runs 54-39, home runs 11-7, wins 5-4 and ERA 3.176 vs. 3.440. Bright spots were Andre Ethier, who hit .423 with 3 HR and 9 RBI; Andrew McCutchen with 5 stolen bases and Robinson Cano with 2 home runs. Andy Pettite was able to earn two wins defensively, along with Matt Guerrier's 2 holds.

Champ Takes Downturn on Death Ro, Ends Week with a 7-5 loss

Runs (52), RBI (60), stolen bases (9), avg. (.2708) and OBP (.3648) were the only highlights for The Champ is Here in a matchup with The Death Ro, who dominated in pitching stats.

Ro took every pitching category - 58 strikeouts, 5 wins, 4 saves, 2 holds, a 4.005 ERA and 1.292 WHIP - along with home runs (12), to become the only victorious team to take the home runs category this week. Matt Kemp hit 4 of them, with an average of .333, 8 RBI and 8 runs. Carlos Pena went long 3 times and batted in 9. Casey McGehee hit 2 home runs with a .455 average. Although Rafael Soriano earned 3 saves, Jair Jurrgens got blowed up - allowing 11 runs in 11 innings.

The Champ is Here only took 1 pitching victory all week. Gavin Floyd bombed, pitching 7 innings with 11 earned runs. Offensively, the team fared better, with Adam Lind hitting .357 with 2 home runs and 7 RBI, and Michael Cuddyer hitting .368 with 8 RBI.

Viagra Falls Snake Charmers deadlock Uncle Teddy and the Revolution
6-6

If home runs didn't help anyone but the Death Ro this week in a quest for the win, it at least helped Uncle Teddy avoid a loss in favor of a tie.

The Revolution's strong points this week included 56 runs, 14 home runs, 43 RBI, 13 stolen bases, 7 saves and 2 holds. Ryan Braun hit .423 with 2 home runs, 8 RBI and 1 steal. Chase Utley hit .333 with 5 home runs and 8 RBI. Brett Gardener hit .385 with 4 steals. Ubaldo Jimenez was the shining star on the team - throwing the week's only no-hitter, with 6 walks and 7 K's. Jon Rauch, Octavio Dotel and Ryan Madsen each earned 2 saves.

Viagra Falls was able to keep control on a .2953 batting average, .3519 OBP, 68 K's, 5 wins, a 2.591 ERA and 1.091 WHIP, but not able to stave off the Revolution completely. Dan Uggla hit .464 with 11 RBI and B.J. Upton hit .316 with 3 home runs. On the mound, Josh Johnson earned a win in 6 innings with 10 K's. Fernando Rodney and Matt Capps each got two saves on the week.

Offensive Stars

1. Shin-Soo Choo - .579 | 5 Runs | 3 HR | 11 RBI | .680 OBP

2. Chase Utley - .333 | 8 Runs | 5 HR | 8 RBI | .481 OBP

3. Matt Kemp - .333 | 8 Runs | 4 HR | 8 RBI | .414 OBP

Pitching Stars

1. Ricky Romero - 16 IP | 3 Runs | 6 Hits | 18:4 K to BB | 1 Win

2. Adam Wainwright - 17 IP | 2 Wins | 16:3 K to BB | 1.06 ERA | 0.76 WHIP

3. Ubaldo Jimenez - No Hitter, 7:6 K to BB