Week 9 Transactions

Thunder Guts signs Christian Guzman ($250K), releases Asdrubal Cabrera

The Death Ro signs Brennan Boesch ($250K) and Hong Chih Kuo ($250K), release Todd Coffey, and move Brandon Wood to DL.

Uncle Teddy and the Revolution sign Manny Corpas ($250K) and Clayton Richard ($250K), send Homer Bailey and Alfredo Simon to DL

2 Piece and a Biscuit release Brad Mills

James Madison Gang send Carlos Gomez and Conor Jackson to AAA, both must clear waivers

Week 8 Transactions

Miami Fart Machines sign Johnny Gomes ($250K), Luke Scott ($250K), Jose Bautista ($250K), and Ryan Sweeney ($250K).

The Lousy Street Weasels release Andrew Oliver and Jose Mijares.

The Champ is Here releases Gavin Floyd.

The Death Ro send Rich Harden to AAA (must clear waivers)

GET LIT UP!

Let's check last weeks' results. Thanks to the highly-acclaimed Royals offense, I put up my first win of the year:

1) Brett Myers @ STL 6 innings, 2 earned

2) David Huff @ KC 5.2 in, 6 ER

3) Clayton Kershaw @ SD 7 in, 1 ER

Bullpen Arsonist (5/10-5/16): Bobby Jenks 1 in, 0 ER (after two really bad outings, Fat Bobby takes a seat for almost all of the week. This should be "inconclusive," but I'll take the L. Boo, Ozzie Guillen.)

Season Record: 1-7

As for Mr. Game 7:

1) Tommy Hanson, @ MIL, v. ARI 8 innings, 0 earned / 7 innings, 5 earned

2) Rick Porcello, v. NYY 7 in, 0 ER

3) Javy Vazquez, @DET 7 in, 2 ER

Bullpen Arsonist (5/10-5/16): Chad Qualls 1.1 in, 2 ER

Season Record: 2-3

Well, now you know how smart we are. Be ready to call Vegas; here are my predictions for this week:

1) Ricky Nolasco, Friday @ White Sox (Nolasco is one of those guys who seem like they'd put up a 7.00 ERA in the AL)

2) Wandy Rodriguez, Saturday vs. Tampa Bay (this isn't the team you want to face right now, Wandy)

3) Johan Santana, Sunday vs. Yankees (I just decided to roll with powerful AL offenses, but Johan brings the LIT UP degree of difficulty up)

Arsonist of the Week (5/20 - 5/25): Jose Valverde (he's got a .51 ERA, that's gotta come up sometime)

Week 7 Transactions

Channel Four News Team signs Alex Gonzalez ($250K), send J.J. Hardy to DL

2 Piece and a Biscuit signs Troy Glaus ($250K), sends Brad Lidge to DL

GET LIT UP!

We're back for another week of GET LIT UP! Before we get to this week's fearless predictions, let's see the results from two weeks ago:

Once again, the rules: If a pitcher gets lit up, we get a check mark and you shower us with praise. We think that if a starter ends his outing with an ERA of 6 or higher, that's pretty much getting lit up. As Tony said, "If his stats make you say 'Fuck!'...he got lit up."

1) Phil Hughes @ Orioles 5.2 innings, 1 earned

2) Cliff Lee vs. Rangers 7 innings, 0 earned

3) Yovanni Gallardo @ Padres 7 innings, 1 earned

Bullpen Arsonist - Kevin Gregg 3.1 innings, 0 earned

Wow, what a great job I did for our special April Fool's Day edition of GET LIT UP! Oops.

Current Record: 0-4

My winning percentage can't get any worse, well done. I need some layups, so I'm taking the easy way out and going with three guys on the road. Here goes:

1) Brett Myers, Tuesday @ STL (Because Brett Myers is my homeboy)

2) David Huff, Thursday @ KC (Only in hopes of Greinke getting a W, since old people still care about W/L records)

3) Clayton Kershaw, Saturday @ SD (I had faith in the Fathers at home last time, I'll try it again)

Bullpen Arsonist: Bobby Jenks (Looking for that knockout punch)

And now for a double dose of Gettin' Lit Up, Mr. G7 is making his season debut...

1) Tommy Hanson, @ MIL, v. ARI (Could be great against these two, could get wRecKed)

2) Rick Porcello, v. NYY, v. BOS (Looks like a rough week for the kid, at least on matchups)

3) Javy Vazquez, @DET, v. MIN (His 9.82 ERA might drop after these starts, but he could still suck)

Bullpen Arsonist: Chad Qualls (Assuming he even keeps the job the rest of the week)

Week 6 Transactions

The Channel Four News Team sign Rod Barajas ($250K) and Carlos Villanueva ($500K), send Jenrry Mejia to AAA, release Jeff Clement

The Lousy Street Weasels release Nick Johnson

Week 5 Transactions

Viagra Falls Snake Charmers sign Miguel Olivo ($250k),send Chris Iannetta to AAA (must clear waivers), and release Brandon Lyon.

The Lousy Street Weasels release Ross Detwiler.

The Death Ro signs Joel Zumaya ($250K), send Sean Rodriguez to AAA, release Angel Salome.

Uncle Teddy and the Revolution sign Alberto Callaspo ($250K) and Alfredo Simon ($250K)

2 Piece and a Biscuit sign Jose Guillen ($250K) and Ty Wigginton ($250K), send Chris Coglan to AAA, release Travis Hafner and Alexi Casilla.

James Madison Gang sign Colby Lewis ($250K) and Arthur Rhodes ($250K), send Jason Frasor to AAA, release Mark Buehrle.