Meaty Urologists Announce Trade Deadline for Rasmus

Meaty Urologists GM Eric Ferguson emerged from a drunken stupor Thursday just long enough to comment on his team’s continued pursuit of Colby Rasmus. The results were anything but coherent.

“You tell that no-good rotten crotch David Inlow that we’ve got plenty of dollars and players and people and stuff. It’s all on the table. All I’m asking is – wait a minute, I’m not asking, I’m telling! I’m setting a deadline of January 5, 2007, to get something done with that Rasmus kid or else my people will have to have a little talk with his kneecaps.”

When informed that it was actually 2008, Ferguson remained firm on the previously announced deadline.

“I don’t negotiate with terrorists,” he said.

The Urologists’ package is believed to include Jacoby Ellsbury and at least one of their JV prospects (Reid Brignac, Jed Lowrie, Chris Lubanksi, Wladimir Balentien, etc.).