Meaty Urologists Announce Name Change, Satanic Ties

Confirming rumors that had long circulated on the Internets, Meaty Urologists GM Eric Ferguson confirmed the team’s name change to “The Channel Four News Team.”

“Our research found that people were more willing to wear t-shirts, hats, etc., if they made no mention of “meatiness” or urology. As GM of this storied franchise, it is my duty to give the people what they want.”

In other C4 news, Ferguson remained noncommittal regarding whether any of his front office staff would return for the ’08 season.

“It’s easy for people to point at our ’07 results and say, ‘Obviously, those people earned their keep.’ But I think anyone with a half a monkey’s brain can see that the deal I cut with Satan was the key. And I’m not saying that Satanism is a foolproof road map to fantasy success … but it is. I’m just proud of myself for having the fortitude to experiment with the dark arts.

“So really, the hero here, like I’ve always said, is me.”